Holding My Breath
by mkc-12
Summary: Finals are right around the corner when Santana finally meets Brittany. But what do their futures hold, and can old friends get in the way of new ones?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

My alarm went off at 7am and I decided that there was no way I'd be attending class happily this morning. My bed felt too good to bother getting up and who would even care if I didn't show anyway? It's not like professors had attendance policies senior year. I turned off the beeping sound and looked over to make sure my roommate was still sleeping.

Quinn was curled up in a ball with her covers in the floor. She must have fallen asleep studying, because her glasses were still on her face and the law-book she had been reading was partially under her and the other half was hanging off the bed.

I got up and ran to the bathroom real quick to brush my teeth. Nothing annoyed me more than being awake and having the rankest breath in the world. As I did, I glanced up in the mirror and got a good look at myself. My hair was matted and I had dark black circles under my eyes. Anyone could give me a quick glance over and know that the last few weeks of this semester were killing me.

"Santana! What time is it?"

Apparently I hadn't been as quiet as I should have.

"Look at your effin clock Fabray! It's not a difficult thing to do."

I could hear her grumbling as she was getting out of bed, obviously upset with me. It was pointless to be angry. She had a class in about an hour and if anything, I had kept her from oversleeping.

I threw some water on my face and walked back into the room.

"You should be thanking me. You know I'm the only reason you're going to get to class on time. You've got to quit pulling all-nighters. I can't save your ass every day."

Quinn rolled her eyes and threw a tee-shirt on. "Oh gee, thanks. You must be the only thing keeping me together anymore. I love getting up forty-five minutes before I really have to."

"We both know you need to shower a little more there, smelly. Just because finals are in a week it doesn't mean you get to ignore personal hygiene."

Quinn looked completely shocked. "Are you being serious? You don't think I shower enough?"

I smirked. "I'm mostly kidding Quinn. But all the same, you're overdoing it a little bit don't you think?"

I walked over to my dresser and grabbed whatever was on top. As much as I got on Quinn for studying constantly, she wasn't the only one. Getting to class on time and going over the final exam reviews are the only things I care about for the next few weeks.

She walked over to the bathroom and opened the door. "Maybe, but it's hard to be the valedictorian of our class and not study as much as I do."

I rolled my eyes and she shut the door. "Whatever Fabray. You're the smartest person in this entire world and no one else could even compare to your amazingness." She shut the door as I threw her fallen book at it. "And get your stupid bed out of my room and back into yours! I'm sick of you being in here. What's the point of even having a two bedroom apartment if you're going to insist on only sleeping in mine?

In reality, I knew exactly why Quinn was in here. But that didn't change the fact that I wasn't exactly excited about sharing my room these past few days.

I heard the shower turn on. "Fuck you, Santana! You know exactly why I'm in here. And it's only for a few more days, so back off."

We had just painted the entire apartment and the fumes really got to Quinn's head. My room was the only one that had escaped with its character and earlier wall color intact, therefore becoming her safe haven.

"Sure, sure. You have two more days. That's it."

"Whatever you say S." I could hear the annoyance in her voice and I had to smile.

I honestly didn't care that she was staying in my room. If anything, it made me feel less lonely during the night. These past few days had been hard to tackle by myself, but it was worth it. Puck wasn't right for me and I knew that, but it didn't change the fact that I missed having a warm body next to me every night.

I looked at myself in the bedroom mirror and frowned. I hadn't looked like my normal self in a while. It was time to change that and get back to the sultry goddess I usually radiated. I'm a catch and I know that. It's time to make everyone else realize it too.

As I stepped into class, I saw that Kurt, Rachel and Tina were already there in our regular seats.

Kurt was the first to look up and see me. "Damn girl. Did you have a long night? You look awful."

Rachel gasped and hit his shoulder. "Kurt Hummel, you shut up this moment. That's an awful thing to say. She looks more than fine and even if she didn't, you still shouldn't say that."

"I just wanted to know why she looks like she's been told that the just out of bed look is acceptable!"

I sighed and took my usual seat next to Tina. "Remind me why I'm friends with him?" I said, giving her a sarcastic smile.

She smiled back. "Because he actually does have wonderful taste in fashion and is the only reason you were able to get through your junior year of music composition."

I laughed, remembering how Kurt had pretty much written every song I'd turned in that year. "Good point. He's still an ass sometimes though."

"And I'm damn proud of it Lopez. Damn proud." Kurt smirked and looked to the professor who was already clearing his throat to get our attention.

After class I grabbed a coffee at Starbucks and sat my favorite deep chair in the corner. I had promised myself to get a bit of studying done this morning, but was well aware it wasn't going to happen. I knew I'd end up sitting here, staring at my computer screen and wondering why in the world I ever broke up with Puck. Not that I'm upset about it, because I'm not. But when you lose someone who knows you better than anyone, it's hard to not even be able to keep them as a friend.

I heard the bell on the door ring and instinctively looked up. A tall, very muscular blonde girl walked in followed closely by a shorter black girl with curly hair. The blonde walked up to the line and ordered for them both it seemed, and once they got their coffees sat just a few feet away from me.

"Can you just get off like an hour early? Please Britt? You know how bad I want you at my show."

Mercedes was pouting and I couldn't help but feel bad. I knew just how much she wanted me there tonight, but I didn't think the bar was going to let me off. It's a Friday and we're normally killed on nights like these.

"Look, I'll try." The other girl squealed. "Now wait, wait. Don't get too excited. I'm not saying it's a for sure thing, but I'm going to do my best to be there. Okay?"

"Thank you so much Brittany. If it wasn't my last performance in NYC I wouldn't be so crazy about it. But since we're all going to be heading our own separate ways in a few weeks, I want you there."

They both got quiet and sad for a moment. Graduation was right around the corner. Everything they had worked so hard for was within their grasp. I have a job in the city still, but Mercedes is going all the way to L.A. to try to make it with an independent record company that wants to sign her.

I realized my face was burning and I looked up to see a girl staring at me from across a few tables. She was incredibly beautiful, with black hair and very plump lips. I'm sure she's the prettiest person I've ever seen.

As soon as she realized that I was staring back, she blushed and looked back down to her book. But I didn't look away yet. I was staring at her face, trying to memorize it. She was so distractingly gorgeous and I had the sudden urge to get up and try to talk to her.

"So it's at 9pm tonight Brittany. Don't forget." I looked up at Mercedes and nodded my head. She was looking at me with a smirk on her face. "Close your mouth there, ya creep. You're going to make her think you're a stalker before she even knows your name."

It was my turn to blush and I look down. I noticed my watch and realized I only had five minutes to get to class.

"Shit, sorry Cedes but I've got to get to class. I didn't realize I was cutting it so close."

As we got up I took the opportunity to glance at the Latina sitting by herself. She was smirking at me, but this time didn't blush when I caught her gaze. Instead she gave a tiny wave and a raised eyebrow. I felt my own cheeks flush immediately and turned around towards the door. For some reason my heart had just decided to go into overdrive.

As the blonde left I couldn't help but giggle to myself. She seemed to notice I was here just as much as I was taken away by her presence as soon as she entered the room. All I could think about was when I was going to get to see her again. But that thought made me frown. I would be graduating in a few weeks and didn't even know her name. There was probably no chance I would ever see her again.

I shrugged my shoulders and finally looked down at the book I brought in. I had a very long time before Rachel's performance tonight and not a lot to do leading up to it. Studying would have to suffice for now, but maybe I'd ask Tina or Kurt to go out drinking with me before we would be forced to sit through another group performance. Hitting the bar after the month I've had actually sounds amazing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

The lights in this bar were flashing and it made my eyes feel like they were being assaulted. I decided this one wasn't going to do within three minutes of being in here and grabbed both Tina and Kurt by their hands to lead them out.

"Lopez! I was in the middle of a conversation with a very hot guy and you just ruined what could have been a fairly interesting night."

"Sorry Kurt, but I couldn't do the lights. Felt like I was about to have a seizure." I got to the door and breathed a sigh of relief. That bar was incredibly stuffy and I hadn't realized it until fresh air was suddenly available.

"You don't even have epilepsy! What do you mean you were going to have a seizure?" Kurt kept rambling on and I looked over at Tina.

"Sorry if you wanted to stay. I was just a tad bit overwhelmed."

She smiled and nodded her head. "You and me both. I really just want to find a calm place where we can sit down and try to get liquored up enough to sit through Rach's performance. We can go out dancing after."

I agreed and started walking down the street, looking in each bar and deciding that it was too wild for our intentions. Finally, we reached the end of the bars and still hadn't found anything that would allow us to have quiet conversation and still drink.

"See, Santana? We should've just stayed where we were and allowed me to talk to Brian. There's nothing better out here anyway."

Suddenly I saw an old sign for a bar right across the street from where we were standing. I simply pointed at it and he frowned.

"Fuck you, S. Fuck you."

As soon as I stepped in, I knew this place was different. Sure, there were a ton of people, but you could tell this was a bar were the regulars had gone for many years. It was loud, but a different kind of loud than the others, and the fact that it didn't have any annoying strobe lights going automatically made me wish I had found it earlier than the last few days of my senior year.

We went toward the back and found the only table available.

"This place is packed. Have either of you been here?" Tina looked shocked.

I shook my head. "Nope, but since you two were the only ones that would come here tonight and help me get my drink on, first round is one me!" This was unnaturally kind of me, but I needed alcohol and I needed it soon if I wanted be able to sit through Rachel's performance.

"Shots! Shots! Shots!" They both chanted.

I smiled and turned to go up to the bar. Sitting down on one of the stools, I looked over the menu that held the specials and waited for someone to wait on me. About mid-way through, I heard a light voice.

"What can I get ya?"

I looked up and saw the same blonde that had been in the coffee shop earlier. Immediately I recognized her as the blonde from the coffee shop and my heart seemed to jump.

"Oh, hi." I couldn't force myself to say anything else. I just starred in her blue eyes, waiting for her to break the silence.

She smiled as she recognized me too. "Hey there. Pretty sure I saw you earlier studying."

"You did. Sorry if it seemed like I was staring. I wasn't…"

Her face kind of fell and she looked almost sad for a second. "Oh, it's okay. I didn't think you were. I hope you don't think I was staring back or anything."

I shook my head vigorously and we both looked at each other again. I realized this was probably the most awkward moment of my life and yet at the same time, it wasn't as uncomfortable of a silence as it should have been.

After a few more seconds of staring at me, she asked again. "So….do you want anything to drink?"

Suddenly I came back to myself. "Definitely! Sorry for being weird. I need three shots of whatever vodka you'd like to pour. Surprise me. "I winked at her as I said the last statement.

She started smiling again. "You shouldn't say that. I could give you the most expensive vodka in here."

I pretended to pout. "But you wouldn't do that to me. I'm too cute to be mean to."

She smirked and started to walk to get the shots. "That's entirely too true."

I felt my breath catch and swirled around to see where my two friends had gone, making sure that they hadn't noticed my irregular demeanor towards a bartender. They seemed to be happily sitting in the corner at a table chatting, completely unaware of my current situation.

"So, I just put three shots of UV Blue in here. I hope that's okay. It's surprisingly good, as long as you like flavored vodka." She put the three shots down and looked at me timidly. "I'm not sure blueberry is your thing, but I swear by it. These don't even taste like alcohol. You can throw a few back and not even realize how tipsy you are until it hits you."

I tried to hold back my skepticism. "Okay, well I definitely will try it and tell you what I think."

I started to reach into my wallet to hand her my card but she stopped me. "If you'll just give me a name I'll open up a tab for you." She looked like she was trying to hold back a smile, until suddenly her face dropped entirely. "I mean, I'm not assuming that you're going to be taking a ton of shots or anything. Or that you'll be buying all kinds of alcohol. I just figured that it would be easier for you…" She trailed off and looked at me apologetically.

This time, it was hard to mask the giggles that were threatening to erupt. "Look, it's totally fine. It's a bar, it's kind of expected that I'll be having a few shots. So sure, I'll open a tab. You can put it under Lopez."

She gave me a small smile. "I can definitely do that then. But, you know, I actually need a first name as well. Just for record keeping purposes and that kind of thing."

I studied her face for a second. That wasn't the most creative way to get my name, but it made me excited that I knew she wanted it at all. "Santana Lopez. And I'll make sure to find you when we need something else." I winked and hopped off the bench with my three shots in hand.

"Look here Lopez, I don't drink anything colored and you know that. I'm going to end up having the worst hang over in the morning if we drink those." Kurt held his nose in the air and pretended to look off.

"The bartender said that they're good and don't even taste like alcohol. Just try one. If you don't like it, we'll change it up. Besides, I'm sure we won't be doing shots all night anyway."

"You know I love you S, but those look sketchy." Tina scrunched her face.

I was getting frustrated. "Look here you two, it's just one shot. We'll all take it together, and then we can go our own ways in the drink department. Just fucking take it since I already paid for it." I scooted a single shot in front of them both. "Actually I opened a tab, so this might just be the beginning."

After an obvious amount of hesitation, they each took theirs and we banged them together at the middle of the table.

"To not having to fully comprehend Rachel's performance!" Tina squealed.

I laughed. "Because hobbits aren't known for their heights or musical numbers!"

"Because Santana will probably hit me if I don't drink this anyway!"

We all threw them back immediately. Blondie was right; these didn't even taste like alcohol at all. It tasted like blueberry Kool-Aid, or maybe juice but definitely not alcohol. Again, I wished I had found this place long before now.

"Okay Lopez, maybe that wasn't as bad as it looked. But I don't think a ton of shots before this thing will make Rach too happy let's tone it down to beer or something."

I made a surprised face. "Precious Porcelain wants beer? He must have a fever or something. Quick Tina, check his pulse!"

She laughed and ignored the glare Kurt was giving me. "So is Quinn meeting us there or do we need to stop by and get her?"

"She'll meet us there. I tried to get here to come out with us tonight but you know how hard she's been studying. No matter what I said she wanted to stay in the room until she absolutely has to come out. Honestly, I'm shocked she's going to the hobbit's show at all."

And that was entirely true. Quinn and Rachel had never been ones to get along great or anything. But I know there was a little more to it than Rachel and studying. Finn will be there, and as much as she had played it off like she didn't care about him anymore, I know she does. She's Finnchel's biggest hater, followed closely by me, though I don't really like anyone. Hobbits and Frankensteins just happen to top my list.

Kurt started to move in his seat. "I'll go get us some beer or something."

Before I knew it, I was standing up and walking towards the bar. "No worries! I'll get it. Like I said, first round is one me."

I saw Kurt's confused face as I walked away. "Santana, you did buy the first round…"

But I chose to ignore that fact and kept on walking until I spotted the blonde again. She smiled and held up her finger as if to tell me to hold on while she finished serving the other customers. I took this time to really study her body. She was very thin, but muscular. It was obvious that she worked out a lot, maybe running or something. The way her eyes looked was incredible. So bright, so blue, so large. Her eyes were humongous, and I was looking right into them. Oh shit, I was looking right into them.

Blondie was standing directly in front of me with a confused look. "So, is that a yes?"

I tensed and looked everywhere but at her. "Sorry but I didn't hear what you said."

She giggled lightly. "Do you want another drink?"

"Oh! Yes, sorry, I wasn't really paying attention. Can I just get three beers? Whatever you have on draft."

She nodded and started to get them. "So, I'm actually getting off work here in a few minutes and Sugar will be the one handling your tab after that." She used her thumb to point down the bar at some girl who was handing a group of people drinks.

I frowned and then looked at my watch. Fuck. We had to be at the Lyric for Rachel's performance in 30 minutes. "Actually, don't worry about. I have to leave in a few minutes anyway."

She smirked, but continued to fill the last glass. "Smallest tab ever…but I'll go ahead and close it out for ya."

I handed her my card as she handed me the beers. My mind was already made up; I'd be coming back here soon, if not for anything more than getting her name.

She handed it back to me with the receipt. "Well, I guess I'll see you around. Though, really, I'd never seen you before today anyway so maybe not."

She pouted and I couldn't even help but to try to make it go away. "No worries, I know where you are now and I happen to like this place, so I'm sure we'll meet again." I gave her my famous smile and winked. "Could I at least get a name though? It might guarantee my next visit in here."

I saw here think hard about it and then shake her head. "Nope, but you can definitely have it the next time I see you."

With that, she smiled and walked off to take someone else's order. I grabbed the beers and went back to our table again. Tina and Kurt were talking about the finals they had coming up, but all I could do was think about how tomorrow there was no way I wouldn't be finding my way in this bar again to get a name.


End file.
